The dilemma of guided growth
I'm working on oversimplifying growth today. Eliminate dimensions. Otherwise, it's difficult to draw some charts about it and, ultimately, I want to draw some charts about it.
Let's assume your physical growth draws a hockey stick on the chart. Would that be a bad thing? Depends on your age. In the first several years of your life, the hockey stick means your growth is healthy. Fast forward to 20 years later, it points to a health issue.
Now let's jump over to your skill growth. Simplified further, your professional hard skills. Not so much different than physical growth. At the beginning of your career, it's growth or go home. At a certain point, however, your hard skills don’t grow so aggressively (and don’t get you promoted, limiting your career growth — pity, I know).
What about the growth of your soft skills? I’m afraid they are also capped. (This doesn’t have to be because of you, though, it could be the environment constraining you. Sure, you can shoot for the sky and run for the office, but we know it's not for everyone. Let's keep it real.)
(Side thought) If what we call impact is several growth dimensions combined, and your growth is healthy in all dimensions, we'd be looking at a hockey stick. Isn't it curious that while single dimensions’ yield curve flattens over time, their combination draws a hockey stick? Either they work as exponents or something is missing — a thought for another time.
Let's go back and make your overall professional growth a single dimension. We're looking at a positive, flattening yield curve. Now, let's think of someone who's helping you with your growth (I’ll call them your “growth partner”). Could be your manager, mentor, career coach, role model, or even a friend. Assume they can help you because they've been there. They are also growing, and their growth curve is similar. If we were to put yours next to theirs, here's what we'd get:
Remember when you left a conversation with someone, thinking, "I used to get so much from these conversations before, but now I almost always know what they're going to say." That's because of the chart above. You've closed the gap (some might even say, outgrown them, but that'd be too ambitious). So what do you do now?
Celebrate
First and foremost, acknowledge that it's a success. They've succeeded in helping you grow while you've succeeded in... Well, growing. It's the inevitable result when both parties do their part. Well done!
Change the tactics
So, someone no longer gives all the answers you're looking for. Accept that, and start asking different questions. Stop yearning for prescriptions from them and start asking for perspectives.
Demonstrate
Show that you've grown. Make it a two-way street and ask about their problems. Show that you're not just a taker, but also a giver, and it's time to practice growing through giving, not just taking. (I’m assuming you are already doing this with others whose curve is behind yours on the chart above.)
Reallocate
Some relationships don't come to an end, they change. Decide on the new shape of your relationship, and reallocate your time and energy accordingly. Think of it as sports training - sometimes you work more often with a fitness coach, sometimes with a nutritionist. But for the best results, you don't fully cut ties with either.
Have more to add to the list? Reply to this email or comment on the post. Until next time!